Enter Me

Did it happen? I was asleep. No seriously I was asleep for the first time in my 34 years, I fell asleep BEFORE the ball dropped. My New Year's was awesome (any time I am with my family and my boy it's an event for my memory box), but I am no spring chicken. I know all you 40 something people out there will say, "What? a 30 year old complaining?" It's true, age is but a number and it's all in the attitude, but my bedtime says 9 PM. Currently my 92 year old grandmother can beat me at an "up all night" marathon. However, in my defense my grandmother ALSO puts the phone off the hook and sleeps until late in the afternoon. I, however, have to deal with constant insomnia battles (waking up around 2 AM and staying alert until almost 4 AM). I tried the tricks, the multiplication tables, fantasy of naked women jumping over fences ... which usually leads me to stress about money from the number counting and home repairs thinking about fences. Also, I have an obese Cocker Spaniel that is distracted by scents and is ready to eat once my partner starts moving for a better position.
So on New Year's it was the same scenario, although I promised myself I would NOT fall asleep just rest my burning eyes on my son's pillow. We both fell asleep to Sponge Bob on Nick. I awoke to the Cocker sniffing my breath and a heavy duty knot in my shoulder blade from sleeping on a very tiny twin with a child who has issues with keeping his hands and feet still throughout the night (I thought Roy Jones Jr TKO'd me).

Ahhhh so it happened, the New Year rang in with bells and whistles and a sinus infection for both me and YES MY partner. I have to mention her or she gets very upset that I don't INCLUDE HER when talking about my illness issues-it's a CODA thing you wouldn't understand.

Well I did have a life in December, although I did not record it. There was laughter, heartache and an overweight man (not Santa Claus) who wreaked havoc on my emotional state for awhile. But I think we learned something valuable... hmmm.. nope not yet but I will get back to you on it. What did I do? Let's see, I painted a room which had already been painted two times prior. I didn't like the colors. Us creative spirits need constant color changes. However, I forgot how time consuming it is to paint. Half the room is done. I figure I'll get it around to it. Right! I painted my office stairs (Woo Hoo goal finally accomplished). They had been primed white for about a year or two. One day, I said "Enough!" and ran down to the local paint store for a rich brown color.

Today as I look around the house, I realize I have become a housecleaning drop out. Rooms that smelt of a medley of organic cleaners now stink like the wet dog who got a bath this morning. Floors that used to brag "eat off me" now say "Caution: protect your feet"! Between the court, mediation and the family sick states my mommy talents need fine tuning. I have lost the skills of goal orientation and multi tasking. I used to be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound while applying my makeup. I think I need a vacation. The last time my white DUPA (yes I am half POLISH people) saw a "vacation", I had to Zen myself for a week stay at my parents in a retirement community in Delray Beach, FL with four children. It was my "job" to keep them happy and clean from my mother's OCD neurotic cleaning mindset. I took many bathroom trips that vacation where I was able to fall to the floor and visualize "what would Buddha do?". The plane ride was an interesting journey, too. It's not easy dealing with a four year old who wants to play musical chairs in a plane while a 7 year old nephew had an obsession with the plane's bathroom. At least the girl's were busy watching the movies on their TV's. NO, when I say "VACATION", I mean me and my lesbian luvvaaaa frolicking naked (hmm I seem to have many naked fantasies) on a deserted beach or somewhere in a gay friendly area, while singing a very badly versed version of "I wanna come over" while falling down in a sexy embrace and "loofah'ing" our porcelain "dupa's" on white sand. I need a vacation just from thinking of that scenario!

So enter ME this morning. My son jumps into my arms from his sleepy slumber. I feel the mommy love. I am all about it. I forget about the stubborn knot still housed in my right shoulder blade. I turn a blind eye to the wet Wheaten tracking wet paws throughout the house. I am in the mommy zone.
Then he breaks the news to me, and might I say NOT GENTLY.
"I want to take the bus!"
What? Nope didn't hear it correctly, my dependent five year old is now an independent traveler. I say "are you sure? Because if you don't take the bus you can watch some morning shows!" Yes people I will stop at nothing. I know... I know.. but sometimes a parent MUST use their college degrees and dammit I am a psych major! The usual TV marketing/manipulation never graduated to blue print stage. HE was off and running jumping out of pajamas and yelling for me to help find some outfits.
Gone are the days where my son looks at me and says, "Mommy I love when you take me to school and pick me up." Now he is a "big boy" with big boy plans. He's five years old and already flat lining his good ol' mom. I can see the teen years but FIVEeeeee (breaking into a whisper). Then when all hope was lost an angel flew in. He came into the kitchen and said "you can pick me up from school"
I don't mind the scraps.
Remember:

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

Well I promise I won't let another month go by without my usual lengthy life moments caught in blog land!