I am on hyper mode in the thinking department. These are some of my thoughts:
* Never.. and I MEAN NEVER... respond to your life partner in THIS way while out at a business networking event. "Honey, Are you ready to go?" (ME)"Yes, we're ready to go?" My colleagues and group attendees stare with puzzled expression. (ME) "Oh she knows the committee members are ready, too" (as I touch my head with my two hands and wait for the laughter) - crickets soon follow! Do you think there will be referrals?
* If you have all or nothing tendencies it is BEST not to go on line renting and requesting at the local library. (FYI: I have about 7 books in my possession and 2 more as I type on hold waiting for me at my library branch).
* Even Martha Stewart can't help me with my Composting Challenges. I am a composting drop out three years running. I claim "THIS WILL BE THE YEAR", but with my coffee grinds in one plastic bin and newspapers and cardboard scraps in another I might buckle and buy compost at the local nursery.
* I can't take on a whole yard of crab grass, but I will arm myself with a box of garbage bags to stop the weed growth and pebbles to cover the problems. This is the year I will find that damn green thumb everyone keeps talking about!
* Why does "a safe place" have to slip from your memory bank when looking for that important object in the F*%#@ "safe place" at the LAST MINUTE?
* I can have a temper tantrum like a five year old while looking for THAT important object in the F*%#@ "safe place"!!
* Saying "I am wrong and you're right about that" is one of most difficult sentences to spit out when YOU BELIEVE you are ALWAYS right about "that"!
* Saying "I'm sorry that I__________" is the second hardest sentence to say when you ARE a STRONG WILLED POLLACK (like me).
* Therapy can be more than just a weekly co payment if you use it correctly (much props to my therapist who was dealt the lucky hand to deal with an hour of moi every week).
* Challenges don't make you stronger IT'S the Ass____ that keep popping up IN your challenges that make you one tough bitch!
* A month of "Zen"/gratitude and positive affirmations can all {POOF} VANISH with a five second phone call with your ex or ANY other annoying person that seem to keep jumping into your car of life.
* Boundaries and building walls ARE TWO VERY different things, which I am learning in therapy. Although building walls is often necessary when dealing with ex's, ass_______ or any person that you have to associate with that make you want to "build a freaking wall" in the first place.
Things I am learning about myself:
Even though I am not a "people person" when duty calls, and I am needed to fill in the role, I CAN be the greatest gay MC EVEN IF I am just as confused as the contestants on the panel (it's a "LGBT Newlywed Game" thing you probably won't understand).
I will always argue my point (my partner thinks I missed my calling as a lawyer)even if I have to take that dead horse, give him CPR to bring him/her back to life and then beat the dead horse ALL OVER again (it's a freaking figure of speech people).
I can use many tactics of self sabotage, and "I'll never tell" (in that scary movie voice) but it DOES involve me beating a dead horse, silent scorn and.... (fill in the blank if you think you can)
AND THE BIGGEST THINGS OF ALL THAT I AM LEARNING: Birth Control a one less cup of coffee makes me one sarcastic sista'
much self love, inner peace and LAUGHTER makes the world go round and round!
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